My Weird Stash of Random Death Note Stories
by daveypandas
Summary: Random stories based on the Death Note series. Feel free to read and/or review. If not, no prob.
1. The Talking Notebook

A/N: Death Note is a wonderful series to write about if you know what to write. That's why I'm writing a bunch of random Death Note stories that are in no order – somewhat similar to my Fullmetal Alchemist ones.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or anything of Tsugumi Obha or Takeshi Obata.

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**My Weird Stash of Random Death Note Stories**

_Brought to you by animeartist1_

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**The Talking Notebook**

A muffled whisper sounded in the room.

'_Psst! Hey!_

_Psst! Hey! _

_Hey, You!' _

Light turned away from his brand new computer to face Ryuk, who was spread across the bed idly munching on an apple.

Ryuk shrugged. "What?"

"Never mind." Light shook his head and turned back around. "I just heard something I guess."

Several minutes later, the same muffled sound was back.

'_You aren't hearing things.'_

"Stop it, Ryuk!"

"It wasn't me."

"Then what was it?"

Light soon realized that it wasn't Ryuk when he heard it say '_Get me out of here, dammit!'_

The sound came from the drawer. The Death Note. Light grabbed a pen, pulled out the cartridge, lifted the board up, and quickly took the note. Bewildered, he asked it, "You talk?!"

The note didn't reply.

He shook it; the note continued to remain silent. As Light struggled, Ryuk laughed to himself. _Hyuk, hyuk…I must be a pretty good ventriloquist. I never thought he'd fall for it. _

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A/N: More chapters to come. Feel free to review.


	2. Bad First Impression

A/N: I've always imagined L doing this…It takes place when he first meets his top detectives in the second book

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**Bad First Impression**

The six remaining detectives departed the NPA building to reach the Imperial Hotel, where L was awaiting their arrival. On the way there, the men were quite skeptical meeting of L – what he may look like, what he is like, or most importantly, whether or not they should trust him – regardless of what Watari assured them.

Once they were inside the hotel, they made their way to L's suite based on given instructions, and they bravely knocked on the door.

"Please enter. I've been waiting for you. I'm L," he said as he casually scratched an ankle, which was concealed under his darkwash jeans, with a bare, pale foot. All of the inferior detectives couldn't help but to stare.

"I'm Detective Superintendent Yagami of the NPA." Followed by the five others: "I'm Matsuda." "I'm Aizawa." "I'm Ukita." "I'm Mogi."

L paused; he then pointed his finger toward them and his thumb up as if it were a gun. He opened his mouth as if to say, "BA-", but something else beat him before he could say it.

He farted.

It wasn't one of those you-can-barely-hear aloud or on-purpose farts, but it was one of those unexpected, loud, and very disturbing farts. It was the kind that make your body shudder.

The men were shockingly appalled. Even the great L was surprised.

After a long, awkward silence, one of the men blurted, "Is this your idea of a joke?"

"No," L replied. "For one thing, if I was Kira, you would be dead. And another thing: sometimes people can't always control their normal bodily functions. Please excuse that."

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A/N: Even coming up with this and writing it was fun, and I couldn't help but laugh. I think that L is one of those guys who can play it off and still keep his cool. Anyway, feel free to review.


	3. Apple Bottoms

A/N: I had a blast coming up with this one

A/N: I had a blast coming up with this one.

And I apologize ahead of time if I seem to racially stereotype, but I'm only writing about something I saw on TV, so please don't be offended.

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**Apple Bottoms**

Light noticed Ryuk had his eyes glued to the TV that night, which was very odd for him, a shinigami, to do; however, when Ryuk watched it in Light's room, it seemed to stay on only one channel, and this made Light curious.

"Hey, Ryuk."

Ryuk turned around. "Huh?"

He couldn't help but smile. "Since when did you start watching BET?" He has never seen Ryuk watch this channel before.

"Well…it's kinda hard to explain this, Light, but you know how I like apples?"

"Yeah, so what does that have to do with it?"

"Not only do I like apples, but," the shinigami said as he grinned (and probably would've blushed if he could), "…I also like apple bottoms."

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A/N: I don't watch BET, but I have flipped past it many times. I've heard something about apple bottom special on there or something like that a long time ago, lol.


	4. Shinigami Feelings

A/N: I think that Ryuk and Rem make a cute couple.

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**Shinigami Feelings**

The late afternoon sun gently beamed over Light and Ryuk as they were on their way back home after a date. Both were quiet as they came down a vacant sidewalk, until Ryuk sighed.

"What's with you?" Light asked. "Is something wrong?"

"You won't understand," Ryuk replied.

"Is it important?"

"Not important to you…"

"You should at least take it off your shoulders," Light said. "You can tell me."

Ryuk shook his head.

"Are you in trouble?"

"No."

"Upset at anyone?"

"No."

"You must be giving up apples then?"

"NO WAY!"

"Then what could it be?" Light mumbled. "Unless…you're in love?"

Ryuk didn't respond.

Light smiled. "Who is it?"

Ryuk looked away as if someone was watching him and quietly said, "…Rem…"

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A/N: Feel free to review.


	5. Stranded

A/N: I'm soo sorry for the wait. One of my grandfathers passed away about two weeks ago, and I haven't really had any time to update.

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**Stranded**

Light Yagami was at home – all by himself (except for Ryuk, of course) – sitting on the commode with the Death Note in his lap, scribbling down the names of criminals he had looked up on the internet about an hour ago. He had a mild case of the diarrhea and took it as an opportunity to write in the notebook. Besides, he had all the time he needed, since his father was at work, and his mother and sister just left to go to the grocery store. Ryuk was in the kitchen looking for his stash of apples.

When Light finished, he didn't realize how low they really were on groceries until he noticed that all the toilet paper was gone.

He sighed as he observed the sleek, dark notebook in his hands.

It would have to do.

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A/N: Feel free to review.


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